There has been a theme in my practice in the last two weeks, and that is the fear of falling apart. It's a strong fear that can drive us into seclusion and feeling alone. It's a fear that has it's own story that goes something like this...
If I fall apart then other people will judge me.
If I fall apart there is nobody to catch me.
If I fall apart then that means I am weak instead of strong.
If I fall apart then I really don't have it together.
If I fall apart it will be too lonely and dark.
If I fall apart then everything will get worse.
If I fall apart it means there is something wrong with me.
If I fall apart then everything around me will fall apart too.
Do any of these thoughts ring true for you? I know I have played several of these belief systems over and over in my head like a broken record that won't stop.
However, what if falling apart was the place where the diamond was being created, under the forceful pressure? There is real wisdom and knowledge to be gained in...
(This blog is about romantic love, the love relationships we choose to have with another person, and not the love between family of origin.)
I did a google search to see how many songs exist with the word LOVE in the title. The number is 1187. I was actually surprised it was that low. But nonetheless, that is still a lot of songs that are in our culture, listened to by millions, that somehow tell us what love is, should look like, feel like or how bad it hurts. There are so many ways that love is taught to us. We get it through Facebook, Youtube, movies, TV shows, greeting cards, commercials, diamond stores, wedding stores, wedding shows and by comparing our relationship to someone else's. That feels like a lot of pressure coupled with a lot of expectation on what love "should" be. After all, what's wrong with you or your partner if you don't get it right?
There is a prevalent belief that relationships are just between two people, who ideally f...